Thursday, May 29, 2008

Broken Toilet craps the Space Station

I know you crib and holler every time your toilet gets blocked, but wait till you read this. If you thought you had a problem with your toilet what about the people in the space station who have a broken down toilet! Where are they to go to answer the call of nature!

But relax, help is at hand. Space shuttle Discovery will play the role of your friendly neighborhood plumber as it carries a pump and other spare parts for the toilet, which is still disposing of solid waste.

Astronauts aboard the NASA space shuttle Discovery will be carrying an extra piece of cargo when they launch on Saturday -- a new toilet pump. (boy! are they going to be happy to see this piece of equipment. I know how you feel like hugging your plumber when he arrives to fix it)

Crew members aboard the International Space Station have been fumbling with plastic bags since their zero-gravity toilet vent made "a loud noise" ( are you sure it is the toilet that made that loud noise!!!) and stopped working properly last week.

"We will be taking some spare parts up," NASA spokesman Allard Beutel said in a telephone interview on Wednesday.

The three station crew members want the toilet working properly for obvious reasons -- but on Saturday they will be sharing facilities with seven space shuttle astronauts.

"You can imagine you are having guests over and your one and only bathroom is broken. Clearly this is something you want to have working," Beutel said.

The seven Discovery crew members will carry out other handyman tasks after they dock on Monday, including fixing a paddle wheel that turns one of the station's solar wing panels and replacing nitrogen tanks needed to pressurize the station's ammonia cooling system.

A second toilet is also planned (about time too I say). The space toilets vent waste matter into space and work using carefully designed vacuums so nothing unpleasant escapes into the gravity-free station. (Close your umbrella dude, it does not fall on earth)

They are helping prepare the station for an expanded permanent six-member crew.

NASA has two years to complete the space station before retiring the shuttle fleet.

So any aliens who are reading this, eat ****, now we are a two toilet space station.

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