Saturday, December 5, 2009

One Liners

Q: What did the lonely banana say?
A: I'm a"kela".

Q: What did the green peas say?
A: Nothing. They just "mutter"ed.

Q: What did the potato say when it answered the phone ?
A: "Aaloo?"

Q: Where do cauliflowers hang out?
A: In the Gobi desert.

Q: What did the flower say to its girl-friend?
A: Why do phools fall in love?

Q: What did the fat car say?
A: I'm a mota car.

Q: What did the confused egg say?
A: I don't unda-stand.

Q: Where do earrings go on holiday?
A: Bali

Q: What do shrimps sing on Christmas?
A: Jhinga Bells.

Q: What did the half eaten naan say?
A: I wish I was puri.

Q: What did the lonely potato sing?
A: "Aaloo lonesome tonight?"

Q: What language do carrots speak?
A: Gajar-ati.

Q: What do you call a bald poet?
A: Ik-bal.

Q: What did the first pizza slice say to the other pizza slice so it
would move?
A: Pizza - "HUT"

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

The Cruelest Tattoo Known To Man

We all know that it can be painful to get tattooed. But here is a Tattoo which is painful to guys who look at it because of where she got it tattooed and what it says.

The tattoo read:

How to make a Woman happy !

It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6.. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a phsiotherapist
15. a gynaecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24.. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate


45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls


51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes


54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes


Hmmm... I know what you are thinking. Yes a BJ will do :)

Who Was Jesus !

Three Proofs of Jesus ...

1. He went into his father’s business
2. He lived at home until the age of 33
3. He was sure his mother was a virgin, and his mother was sure he was God

1. He never got married
2. He never held a steady job
3. His last request was a drink

1.His first name was Jesus
2.He was always in trouble with the law
3.His mother did not know who his father was

1. He talked with his hands
2. He had wine with every meal
3. He worked in the building trades

1. He called everybody brother
2. He had no permanent address
3. Nobody would hire him

1. He never cut his hair
2. He walked around barefoot
3. He invented a new religion

1. He was always talking to sleazy women
2. He was always hanging around his buddies telling fish stories
3. Everybody crucified him

Monday, September 14, 2009

Mandira Bedi Maxims and Fashion Show pictures

Of course you remember Mandira Bedi the spaghetti strapped cricket hostess on TV. Viewers thought she looked hot in those saris. Many non cricket fans were there to watch Mandira Bedi host the show. The lady has moved on from those spaghetti strap days to much more daring picture shoots and skin show.

Many wonder if she really needed to do this as her image as a classy dame was well established. Infact she herself is reporeted to have said that she is not very sure if she should have done the Maxim's cover shoot. Personally I thought Madira Bedi's Maixm pictures were brealy all right. Nothing much to write home about. Yes, she looked good and hot but it was pretty tasteful.

That was untill her recent disaster at the Kolkata Fashion week. The usually well turned out Mandira Bedi stepped out draped in a black embroidered zari Satya Paul sari and a low-cut (and when we say low-cut we mean real low-cut) blouse. The blouse was ill fitted with her bust literaly falling out. Most people present thought that Mandira Bedi was not the right choice to model the sari.

We are wondering why she has to go on wearing less and less clothes (not that we mind) ? Is Mandira really so desperate for work that she has to show it all for work?

Monday, June 8, 2009

Sheetal Mafatlal Arrested, Jailed

Sheetal Mafatlal, a socialite and president of Mafatlal Luxury(Ghar ki Dukan) was arrested on Monday for carrying undisclosed jewelery and diamonds worth several lakhs of rupees. Mafatla has been sent to judicial custody till June 12.

Sheetal Mafatlal was detained on Sunday when she landed at the Chhatrapati Shivaji International airport. The Customs officials searched the socialite at the airport on specific information and recovered undisclosed jewellery estimated to be between Rs 53 lakh and one crore from her bag.(This will embarrass Sheetal Mafatlal,because 1 crore is too less in the circles she moves.)

Exact value of the recovered ornaments is yet to be ascertained.(this is ray of hope for Sheetal, She should claim it to be worth 10 crore to save face..errr but that could sent her to jail for a long time. What a paradox!)

Mafatlal, who arrived in a British Airways flight was detained for declaring the jewelry worth Rs 1 cr. as mere Rs 30 lakhs.(are you sure it was not the other way around?)
Meanwhile, Mafatlal’s lawyer has said that that the arrest has been done at the instance of some "disgruntled opponent"(does this mean the jewellery charge was fabricated by the customs?) of Atulya, her husband and scion of Mafatlal industries. “Sheetal was arrested on Saturday night when she was returning from London after the police was tipped by some disgruntled opponent(might as well have blames it on Pakistan and ISI, two birds with one stone) of the Mafatlal family and industry,” Lawyer claimed outside the Esplenade court in Mumbai where Sheetal will be produced.

Sheetal had 51 items in her possession including bangles, chains and rings and the most valuable jewelery was worth Rs 2.5 lakh, he said adding that he would file a bail application. “The jewelery was given to her by her father-in-law and was used ones. According to a Supreme Court ruling, if the value of the gold is less than Rs one crore and the duty is less than Rs 30 lakh then the offence is bailable,” he said. (lawyer ki to ban gayi yaro. 10 lakh fees to hogi hi)

All we can do is pray that the mosquitos don't faint after biting her in jail and prisoners do not choke on her perfume odour.

As for Sheetal Mafatlal, one lucky dame, now she will regale people at those Page 3 parties with her jail escapade. What an adventure man.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Indo Canadian MP Ruby Dhalla in hot Movie

Who is the sexiest Indian Politician in the world? Well not Sonia Gandhi for sure. Indian-Canadian MP Ruby Dhalla is listed as the third sexiest women politicians in the world by Maxim magazine. Dhalla and British Columbia Conservative MP Nina Grewal are the first Sikh women to serve in the Canadian House of Commons.

Ruby Dhalla was an aspiring bollywood actress before she jumped into politics. She acted in a lead role in the film “Kyon Kis Liye” made in Canada. Dhalla is shown in some hot steamy scenes in the movie Kyon Kis Liye with the film’s producer and co-star Charanjit Sihra.

The 35-year-old Doctor of Chiropractic Medicine, Dhalla says the scenes in the film, and distribution posters for DVDs have been “doctored” to malign her.

The film is based on the local Sukhinder Dhillon murder case in which the wife was poisoned by her husband to collect insurance money . Kyon Kis Liye was released in India and Canada without much success. But the present controvery might rake in the moolah for the producer with sale of DVD's of Kyon Kis Liye picking up.

But Dhalla has mounted a legal challenge to stop it. A 1993 Miss IndiaCanada runner-up, Dhalla claims she is being misrepresented through objectionable scenes. “...they put my face on someone else’s body , in clothes I never wore,” she told local daily Toronto Sun.

“I have worked extremely hard to get to where I am and will not be exploited by individuals.” But producer and co-star Charanjit Sihra, who owns a body shop in Hamilton, said Dhalla had given her consent in writing for the distribution of the film DVDs.

The movie producer said there was “nothing sexual” in the film (just too bad). “Her mother was there every day (during the shooting of the film)... there is no nudity, or sex(Yikes! whats all the fuss about dude),” he said.

He said, "She wanted to be in Bollywood films...she had a passion for the movie, but she's a politician now and doesn't want the DVD of the film released.'' Sihra said he had first met Dhalla in 1993 after she became a runner-up in the Miss Canada-India beauty contest.

Well we would certainly like to watch the objectionable nude and steamy scenes from movie Kyon Kis Liye. Post the link to the Video of Kyon Kis Liye please.

Just in case you are wondering who is the sexiest woman politician in the world here is a picture of Mara Carfagna, an Italian . Mara Carfagna is a Member of Chamber of Deputies (Campania 2), Minister for Equal Opportunity (Brings a smile to your face,does't it!)

Don't we deserve some hot looking politician like her!!! I mean look at the cut outs of Adavani, Manmohan Sigh, Mayawati, Jayalalitha, Lalu Parsad....We must be voting for the wrong kinda people here. And if we had to have an imported Italian politician why couldn't we get someone like Mara Carfagna. Jago India Jago.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Slumdog Millionaire bags 8 Oscars at the 81st Academy Awards

The 81st Oscars winners list is finally out. Slumdog millionaire swept the Oscars winning eight Academy Awards in total. A.R. Rehman bagged two Oscars for Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original score) and Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original song). This was a proud moment for Indian artists and technicians who participated in the making of Slumdog Millionaire.

A.R.Rehman made history when he became the first Indian to win an Oscar. The following is the complete list of all the nominees and winners of the 81st Oscars. The winner of the Oscar is in highlighted in red italics.

Nominees & Winners for the 81st Academy Awards

Performance by an actor in a leading role

* Richard Jenkins in “The Visitor” (Overture Films)
* Frank Langella in “Frost/Nixon” (Universal)
* Sean Penn in “Milk” (Focus Features)
* Brad Pitt in “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” (Paramount and Warner Bros.)
* Mickey Rourke in “The Wrestler” (Fox Searchlight)

Performance by an actor in a supporting role

* Josh Brolin in “Milk” (Focus Features)
* Robert Downey Jr. in “Tropic Thunder” (DreamWorks, Distributed by DreamWorks/Paramount)
* Philip Seymour Hoffman in “Doubt” (Miramax)
* Heath Ledger in “The Dark Knight” (Warner Bros.)
* Michael Shannon in “Revolutionary Road” (DreamWorks, Distributed by Paramount Vantage)

Performance by an actress in a leading role

* Anne Hathaway in “Rachel Getting Married” (Sony Pictures Classics)
* Angelina Jolie in “Changeling” (Universal)
* Melissa Leo in “Frozen River” (Sony Pictures Classics)
* Meryl Streep in “Doubt” (Miramax)
* Kate Winslet in “The Reader” (The Weinstein Company)

Performance by an actress in a supporting role

* Amy Adams in “Doubt” (Miramax)
* Penélope Cruz in “Vicky Cristina Barcelona” (The Weinstein Company)
* Viola Davis in “Doubt” (Miramax)
* Taraji P. Henson in “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” (Paramount and Warner Bros.)
* Marisa Tomei in “The Wrestler” (Fox Searchlight)

Best animated feature film of the year

* “Bolt” (Walt Disney), Chris Williams and Byron Howard
* “Kung Fu Panda” (DreamWorks Animation, Distributed by Paramount), John Stevenson and Mark Osborne
* “WALL-E” (Walt Disney), Andrew Stanton

Achievement in art direction

* “Changeling” (Universal), Art Direction: James J. Murakami, Set Decoration: Gary Fettis
* “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” (Paramount and Warner Bros.), Art Direction: Donald Graham Burt, Set Decoration: Victor J. Zolfo
* “The Dark Knight” (Warner Bros.), Art Direction: Nathan Crowley, Set Decoration: Peter Lando
* “The Duchess” (Paramount Vantage, Pathé and BBC Films), Art Direction: Michael Carlin, Set Decoration: Rebecca Alleway
* “Revolutionary Road” (DreamWorks, Distributed by Paramount Vantage), Art Direction: Kristi Zea, Set Decoration: Debra Schutt

Achievement in cinematography

* “Changeling” (Universal), Tom Stern
* “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” (Paramount and Warner Bros.), Claudio Miranda
* “The Dark Knight” (Warner Bros.), Wally Pfister
* “The Reader” (The Weinstein Company), Chris Menges and Roger Deakins
* “Slumdog Millionaire” (Fox Searchlight), Anthony Dod Mantle

Achievement in costume design

* “Australia” (20th Century Fox), Catherine Martin
* “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” (Paramount and Warner Bros.), Jacqueline West
* “The Duchess” (Paramount Vantage, Pathé and BBC Films), Michael O’Connor
* “Milk” (Focus Features), Danny Glicker
* “Revolutionary Road” (DreamWorks, Distributed by Paramount Vantage), Albert Wolsky

Achievement in directing

* “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” (Paramount and Warner Bros.), David Fincher
* “Frost/Nixon” (Universal), Ron Howard
* “Milk” (Focus Features), Gus Van Sant
* “The Reader” (The Weinstein Company), Stephen Daldry
* “Slumdog Millionaire” (Fox Searchlight), Danny Boyle

Best documentary feature

* “The Betrayal (Nerakhoon)” (Cinema Guild), A Pandinlao Films Production, Ellen Kuras and Thavisouk Phrasavath
* “Encounters at the End of the World” (THINKFilm and Image Entertainment), A Creative Differences Production, Werner Herzog and Henry Kaiser
* “The Garden” A Black Valley Films Production, Scott Hamilton Kennedy
* “Man on Wire” (Magnolia Pictures), A Wall to Wall in association with Red Box Films Production, James Marsh and Simon Chinn
* “Trouble the Water” (Zeitgeist Films), An Elsewhere Films Production, Tia Lessin and Carl Deal

Best documentary short subject

* “The Conscience of Nhem En” A Farallon Films Production, Steven Okazaki
* “The Final Inch” Vermilion Films in association with, Irene Taylor Brodsky and Tom Grant
* “Smile Pinki” A Principe Production, Megan Mylan
* “The Witness - From the Balcony of Room 306” A Rock Paper Scissors Production, Adam Pertofsky and Margaret Hyde

Achievement in film editing

* “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” (Paramount and Warner Bros.), Kirk Baxter and Angus Wall
* “The Dark Knight” (Warner Bros.), Lee Smith
* “Frost/Nixon” (Universal), Mike Hill and Dan Hanley
* “Milk” (Focus Features), Elliot Graham
* “Slumdog Millionaire” (Fox Searchlight), Chris Dickens

Best foreign language film of the year

* “The Baader Meinhof Complex” A Constantin Film Production, Germany
* “The Class” (Sony Pictures Classics), A Haut et Court Production, France
* “Departures” (Regent Releasing), A Departures Film Partners Production, Japan
* “Revanche” (Janus Films), A Prisma Film/Fernseh Production, Austria
* “Waltz with Bashir” (Sony Pictures Classics), A Bridgit Folman Film Gang Production, Israel

Achievement in makeup

* “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” (Paramount and Warner Bros.), Greg Cannom
* “The Dark Knight” (Warner Bros.), John Caglione, Jr. and Conor O’Sullivan
* “Hellboy II: The Golden Army” (Universal), Mike Elizalde and Thom Floutz

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original score)

* “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” (Paramount and Warner Bros.), Alexandre Desplat
* “Defiance” (Paramount Vantage), James Newton Howard
* “Milk” (Focus Features), Danny Elfman
* “Slumdog Millionaire” (Fox Searchlight), A.R. Rahman
* “WALL-E” (Walt Disney), Thomas Newman

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original song)

* “Down to Earth” from “WALL-E” (Walt Disney), Music by Peter Gabriel and Thomas Newman, Lyric by Peter Gabriel
* “Jai Ho” from “Slumdog Millionaire” (Fox Searchlight), Music by A.R. Rahman, Lyric by Gulzar
* “O Saya” from “Slumdog Millionaire” (Fox Searchlight), Music and Lyric by A.R. Rahman and Maya Arulpragasam

Best motion picture of the year

* “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” (Paramount and Warner Bros.), A Kennedy/Marshall Production, Kathleen Kennedy, Frank Marshall and Ceán Chaffin, Producers
* “Frost/Nixon” (Universal), A Universal Pictures, Imagine Entertainment and Working Title Production, Brian Grazer, Ron Howard and Eric Fellner, Producers
* “Milk” (Focus Features), A Groundswell and Jinks/Cohen Company Production, Dan Jinks and Bruce Cohen, Producers
* “The Reader” (The Weinstein Company), A Mirage Enterprises and Neunte Babelsberg Film GmbH Production, Anthony Minghella, Sydney Pollack, Donna Gigliotti and Redmond Morris, Producers
* “Slumdog Millionaire” (Fox Searchlight), A Celador Films Production, Christian Colson, Producer

Best animated short film

* “La Maison en Petits Cubes” A Robot Communications Production, Kunio Kato
* “Lavatory - Lovestory” A Melnitsa Animation Studio and CTB Film Company Production, Konstantin Bronzit
* “Oktapodi” (Talantis Films), A Gobelins, L’école de l’image Production, Emud Mokhberi and Thierry Marchand
* “Presto” (Walt Disney), A Pixar Animation Studios Production, Doug Sweetland
* “This Way Up” A Nexus Production, Alan Smith and Adam Foulkes

Best live action short film

* “Auf der Strecke (On the Line)” (Hamburg Shortfilmagency), An Academy of Media Arts Cologne Production, Reto Caffi
* “Manon on the Asphalt” (La Luna Productions), A La Luna Production, Elizabeth Marre and Olivier Pont
* “New Boy” (Network Ireland Television), A Zanzibar Films Production, Steph Green and Tamara Anghie
* “The Pig” An M & M Production, Tivi Magnusson and Dorte Høgh
* “Spielzeugland (Toyland)” A Mephisto Film Production, Jochen Alexander Freydank

Achievement in sound editing

* “The Dark Knight” (Warner Bros.), Richard King
* “Iron Man” (Paramount and Marvel Entertainment), Frank Eulner and Christopher Boyes
* “Slumdog Millionaire” (Fox Searchlight), Glenn Freemantle and Tom Sayers
* “WALL-E” (Walt Disney), Ben Burtt and Matthew Wood
* “Wanted” (Universal), Wylie Stateman

Achievement in sound mixing

* “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” (Paramount and Warner Bros.), David Parker, Michael Semanick, Ren Klyce and Mark Weingarten
* “The Dark Knight” (Warner Bros.), Lora Hirschberg, Gary Rizzo and Ed Novick
* “Slumdog Millionaire” (Fox Searchlight), Ian Tapp, Richard Pryke and Resul Pookutty
* “WALL-E” (Walt Disney), Tom Myers, Michael Semanick and Ben Burtt
* “Wanted” (Universal), Chris Jenkins, Frank A. Montaño and Petr Forejt

Achievement in visual effects

* “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” (Paramount and Warner Bros.), Eric Barba, Steve Preeg, Burt Dalton and Craig Barron
* “The Dark Knight” (Warner Bros.), Nick Davis, Chris Corbould, Tim Webber and Paul Franklin
* “Iron Man” (Paramount and Marvel Entertainment), John Nelson, Ben Snow, Dan Sudick and Shane Mahan

Adapted screenplay

* “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” (Paramount and Warner Bros.), Screenplay by Eric Roth, Screen story by Eric Roth and Robin Swicord
* “Doubt” (Miramax), Written by John Patrick Shanley
* “Frost/Nixon” (Universal), Screenplay by Peter Morgan
* “The Reader” (The Weinstein Company), Screenplay by David Hare
* “Slumdog Millionaire” (Fox Searchlight), Screenplay by Simon Beaufoy

Original screenplay

* “Frozen River” (Sony Pictures Classics), Written by Courtney Hunt
* “Happy-Go-Lucky” (Miramax), Written by Mike Leigh
* “In Bruges” (Focus Features), Written by Martin McDonagh
* “Milk” (Focus Features), Written by Dustin Lance Black
* “WALL-E” (Walt Disney), Screenplay by Andrew Stanton, Jim Reardon, Original story by Andrew Stanton, Pete Docter

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Noida MMS Scandal video link

Here is another MMS scandal from Noida that has hit the net. The Noida MMS clip showing a girl doing a striptease was circulated by her estranged boyfriend. She had turned down his marriage proposal.

I do feel bad for the people involved in this episode, specially the the girl and her family and friends. I feel this is very unfair on part of the boyfriend who circulated the Noida MMS among his friends and finally on the net. This is backstabbing at its worst.

Relationships break and go through rough patches, but that does not mean that one should make public anything that once was given to you in confidence and trust. I wish some girls would make Nude MMS of guys and circulate them but then two things come to my mind:

1. No one would be interested in watching those Nude MMSes

2. Girls usually do not stoop this low as for them a nude video or MMS clip of a guy is no conquest. Where as guys love to flaunt their score with females foolishly without even thinking about the consequences of such act for the girl. It is a shame.

The guy shot some pictures of the girl and then he hacked into the girl's mail account and sent off the video clips, making it appear that she was sending them.

The girl alleged the two families had been friends for long, to the point that the boy's family wanted the girl's hand in marriage when she was much younger. "My father did not say yes but insisted that we complete our studies first. Later, the boy became increasingly insecure about me. Then he insisted I marry him,'' the girl said.

The girl said that she turned him down as he had shown scant regard for her when her father was seriously ill for two months.

From the clips it is obvious that girl willingly posed for the video, although that does not give the boy any right to make them public. But i do feel that girls need to be more aware of getting themselves clicked in the nude by their boy pals as we get hit by one MMS scanadal after another.

Although there is nothing much scandalous in these Noida MMSes but still they can ruin the reputation of a girl. What we do in private should remain so.

I hope that girls and guys are aware that even when they delete sexy or nude pictures or MMSes from the phone these can still be retireved and eventually made public.

So be aware and be warned, there are plenty of other ways to have fun than getting yourself shot in the nude.

The Noida MMS and the other Nude mmses on the net are a fair warning to everyone who thinks they are safe.

I do not host such MMS on my site but there are links that you can follow to watch such and other MMS on the net.

P.S. sorry guys! I have removed the links to the Noida MMS scandal because I didn't feel too good about posting the links to the MMS. Post in comments and someone might still give you the link to the Noida and other scandal MMS sites.