Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Yana Gupta without Panties pics

Well...I am not so sure if the second rate celebrities do it for cheap publicity or its just one of those things which happens unconsciously. You be the judge of that.

It seems that wardrobe malfunctions were the norm at fashion shows or stage shows of unknown wannabes. What takes the cake is missing pieces of propriety or undies, if you please. In this case Yana Gupta was seen without panties at a social function.

Her short black dress kept getting hitched up and now people are scourging the net for Yana Gupta's pictures and video without panties.

Do let me remind you that certain parts of human anatomy are more fascinating and alluring when not visible. Some pals of mine would even go so far as saying " you seen one you have seen all" To those others would respond " you ain't seen nuthin as yet dude"

To this my rejoinder would be an age old Punjabi joke :
Santa (for want of better name and the effort of using my grey cell I choose tried n tested santa banta nomenclature) comes back from England and Banta is all curious about his escapades with Goris and pesters Santa to tell all.

Santa: I met his mem in the mall and she winked at me and i winked back at her.
Banta: fir ..fir ..fir ki hoya ..(what happened next)

Santa: She invited me over to her apartment and i went with her
Banta: fir ..fir ..fir ki hoya ...

Santa: Well...we kissed and slowly undressed each other...
Banta: fir ..fir ..fir ki hoya ... (while drooling a bit)

Santa ( a lil exasperated by all the pestering by now) : Fir ki hona si..fir ohi hoya jo ludhiany hunda hega... (what the heck could happen..the same that happens back home in Ludhiana)

So guys...Stop searching for Nude pictures of Yana Gupta and she is a Gori anyways..use your common sense and hit a xxx site....saves u lotsa time n effort...

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Hilarious 2 Minute Management Course

Read and apply the following wisdom carefully and you can beat the crap outa all those high fly MBA's

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, ‘I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.’

After thinking that she has a chance earning $800 within a minute, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, ‘Who was that?’

‘It was Bob the next door neighbor,’ she replies.

‘Great,’ the husband says, ‘Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?’

Moral of the story:
Do not share any critical information unless you understand the need of opposite person. It may or may not help him but surely won’t help you.

Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift.

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’

The priest apologized ‘Sorry sister, but the flesh is weak.’

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, ‘Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.’

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, ‘I’ll give each of you just one wish.’

‘Me first! Me first!’ says the admin clerk. ‘I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.’

Puff! She’s gone.

‘Me next! Me next!’ says the sales rep. ‘I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.’

Puff! He’s gone.

‘OK, you’re up,’ the Genie says to the manager.

The manager smiles and say, ‘I want those two back in the office after the lunch-time.’

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4:

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him,‘Can I also sit like you and do nothing?’

The eagle answered: ‘Sure, why not.’

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5:

A Turkey was chatting with a Bull.

‘I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree’ sighed the Turkey, ‘but I haven’t got the energy.’ ‘Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?’ replied the Bull. They’re packed with nutrients.’

The Turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave her enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, she reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the Turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree..

She was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot her out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won’t help you stay there for long.

Lesson 6:

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and she fell to the ground into a large field.

While she was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on her.

As the frozen bird laid there in the pile of cow dung, she began to realize how warm it was.

The dung was actually thawing her out!

She lays there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat hears the bird singing and comes to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug her out and ate her.

Morals of the story:
[1] Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
[2] Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
[3] And when you’re in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!

Friday, November 19, 2010

Talking Parrot

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Sheeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?"

The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."

"Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!"

"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly intelligent thoroughly educated bird."

"Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this -- how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"

"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers."

"Wow," says the guy. "You really can understand and speak English can't you?"

"Actually, I speak French, Spanish, Sanskrit and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology.

You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion."

The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford that."

"Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, no body wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20; just make the guy an offer!"

The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.

Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is delighted.

One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes, "Psssssssssssst," and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."

"What are you talking about?" asks the guy.

"When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie."

"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?"

"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over," reported the parrot.

"NO!" he exclaims. "And she let him?"

"Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over....."

Then the frantic guy demands, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"

"Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!"

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Simple solutions to Complex problems

EVER SINCE I WAS A CHILD, I'VE ALWAYS HAD A FEAR OF SOMEONE UNDER MY BED AT NIGHT. SO I WENT TO A PSYCHIATRIST AND TOLD HIM 'I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.'
'Just put yourself in my hands for one year,' said the psychiatrist. 'Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears.'
'How much do you charge?'
'Eighty dollars per visit,' replied the doctor.
'I'll sleep on it and if needed I will come back to you,' I said.
Six months later the Psychiatrist met me on the street.
'Why didn't you come to see me about those fears you were having?' he asked.
'Well, Eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money! A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new SUV.
'Is that so!' With a bit of an attitude he said, 'and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?'
'He told me to cut the legs off the bed - ain't nobody under there now!

LEAVE THOSE PSYCHIATRISTS.. GO HAVE A DRINK & TALK TO YOUR BAR TENDER. There is always another way to solve a problem. I drink to that.

Childish Humor !!..not at all..a must read for grown ups..

A 1st grade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class. She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.

It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading, keep in mind that these are first-graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic!

The italics are the real rejoinders by the kids...
1. Don't change horses...........until they stop running.
2.Strike while the............bug is close.
3.It's always darkest before..............Daylight Saving Time.
4.Never underestimate the power of.............termites.
5.You can lead a horse to water but...................How?
6.Don't bite the hand that...................looks dirty.
7.No news is...............................impossible
8.A miss is as good as a..............Mr.
9.You can't teach an old dog new............Math
10.If you lie down with dogs, you'll..............stink in the morning.
11.Love all, trust..............................Me.
12.The pen is mightier than the.............. pigs..
13.An idle mind is....................................the best way to relax.
14.Where there's smoke there's............pollution.
15.Happy the bride who.....................gets all the presents.
16.A penny saved is.........................not much.
17.Two's company, three's.............the Musketeers.
18.Don't put off till tomorrow put on to go to bed.
19.Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and.............You have to blow your nose.
20.There are none so blind as..................Stevie Wonder.
21.Children should be seen and not.............spanked or grounded.
22.If at first you don't succeed...................get new batteries.
23.You get out of something only what you...............See in the picture on the box
24.When the blind lead the blind .......................get out of the way.
25.A bird in the going to poop on you.
And the WINNER and last one!
26.Better late than............................Pregnant
Now its pretty debatable if the last one is the best one but I had to trick you into reading all of them....soooo...But you have to agree that there are some profound insights in those proverbs.


Instructions for all those with teenage daughters, or who will soon have a teenage daughter....
Congratulations! You are now the proud new owner of a teenaged daughter. Please read this manual carefully, as it describes the maintenance of your new daughter, & answers important questions about your warranty, which does NOT include the right to return the 'product' to the factory for a full refund.

To determine whether you were supposed to receive a teenaged girl, please examine your new daughter carefully. - Does she:
(a) look very similar to your original daughter, only with more makeup & less clothing?
(b) refuse to acknowledge your existence on the planet Earth. (except when requesting money)?
(c) Sleep in a burrow of dirty laundry?
(d) Has one ear glued to the phone?
(e) Lives in a room which looks like the aftermath of Iraq bombing raid!
(f) Has body piercing and tattos which you didn't even know existed in human anatomy?
If any of these are true, you have received the correct item.

When you first receive your teenaged daughter, you will initially experience a high level of discomfort. Gradually, this discomfort will subside, & you will merely feel traumatized and totally disoriented. This is the "Break-In Period," during which you are becoming accustomed to certain Behaviors that will cause you concern, anxiety, & stress. Once you have adapted to these behaviors, your teenager will start acting even worse.

To activate your teenaged daughter, simply place her in the vicinity of a telephone or Instant Messenger. No further programming is required.

Several hours after activation, you may desire to shut down your teenaged daughter. There is no way to do this.

Having a teenaged daughter means learning the difference between The words "clean" & "neat." Teenaged daughters are very clean, because They take frequent showers and or baths that last more than an hour. They will scrub themselves with expensive, fragrant soaps which you must purchase for them because "like I'm sure I'm going to use like the same kind of soap my mom & dad use. DUH!" When they have completely drained the hot-water tank, they will step out & wrap themselves in every towel in the bathroom, which they will subsequently strew throughout the house. If you ask them to pick up the towels, you are confusing "clean" with "neat." Teenagers are very busy & don't have time to be neat. They expect others to pick up after them. These 'others' are called "parents."

Your teenaged daughter requires regular meals, which must be Purchased for her at restaurants because she detests everything you eat because, "It is like so disgusting." She doesn't want you to accompany her to these restaurants, because some people might see you &, "Like I'm sure I want my friends to see me eating dinner with my parents." Either order take-out food or just give her the money. If you order pizza, never answer the doorbell because the delivery boy might see you &, "OHMIGAWD! HE IS SO HOT!" Yes, your daughter's idea of an attractive man is the pizza delivery boy!

Retailers make millions of dollars a year selling stylish & frankly, sensible clothing which will look adorable on your daughter. If you enjoy shopping, you will love the vast selections which are available to you. Unfortunately, your teenaged daughter wants to dress like a lap dancer. You may be able to coerce her into putting on a cute outfit before leaving the house, but by the time she walks in the school door (if she is not skip school to hang out with her buddies), she will be wearing something entirely different.

Teenaged daughters require one or two levels of maintenance: "High," & "Ultra High." Of course, YOUR daughter is "Ultra High." This means that whatever you do won't be enough, & whatever you try, won't work.

This product is not without defect because she has "your" genes, for heaven's sake! If you think this is not fair, talk to your parents, who think it is hilarious. Your teenaged daughter will remain a teenager for as long as it takes for her to become a woman; which in her opinion, has already happened, & as far as you are concerned, never really will. If you are dissatisfied with your teenaged daughter, well, what did you expect? In any event, your warranty does not give you your little girl back under any circumstances, except that deep down she's actually still there - you just have to look for her. Go ahead, try it -- you just might find her!

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Bill Gates speech: 11 rules your kids did not and will not learn in school

Although I knew most of these rules but this still did not help me set up Microsoft or make a few billions in pocket money. The italics are mine, and the rest is Mr. billion dollars. I mean would you still be reading it if Gates had not made his moolah!!! You would have gone " BILL WHO!!!"

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!(I'm trying dammit!!! I'm trying)

Rule 2: The world doesn't care about your self-esteem (errr neither do I). The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE (DUH! wud ve got it without the capital letters) you feel good about yourself.(I used to feel good when i was sozzled till they told me it was not counted as an accomplishment)

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.(orrrr steal a car with a car phone)

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss. (my teacher was hot and I'm unemployed so eat that Mr Gates)

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.(for free food!)

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.(I'm still learning everyday)

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now(Yeah, they had sex! i know). They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.(Lice have rights too you know)

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life. (So why am i still in high school!!!)

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time. (I 've hard time finding employers dude)

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs. (What about Live shows and porn!! that's real life... ain't it??)

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.(NERD...he he he i know gates is never gonna hire NERD again)

Friday, August 20, 2010

Music never fails to raise the spirit

Usually i do not like to blog videos as they detract me from writing weird stuff, but once in a while one comes across music which raises the spirit into a free flight. This one is not only a audible but a visual delight too.

I am certain that after watching this video you are going to get a pirated version or a free download of this (thus hurting coca cola revenues maybe) but coke has given us enough burps so they wont even notice.

More about the singers and the concept once i am through with the videos. I know you hot dudes are dying to know more about the beautiful babe in the video. Well she is the daughter of a Pakistani actress and a top model in Pakistan besides being an excellent singer. So to help your hormones a bit here are a couple of more videos of Messha Shafi

And here is the cokestudio video of Chori Chori by Messha Shafi. A must watch not only for the beautiful Meesha Shafi (you you you lustful dudes) but for her beautiful voice.

More about this later. I got to watch some of this again. If anyone knows free download links please post them in response. Lotta pirates will be grateful to you.
Meantime have fun.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Just Statistics for Fun

Doctors vs. Gun Owners


(A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000.

(B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000.

(C) Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171.

Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of Health and Human Services.

Now think about this:


(A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000.

(Yes, that's 80 million)

(B) The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups, is 1,500.

(C) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is .000188.

Statistics courtesy of FBI


So, statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.


Remember, 'Guns don't kill people, doctors do.'




Almost everyone has at least one doctor.

This means you are over 900 times more likely to be killed by a doctor as a gun owner!!!


Please alert your friends to this alarming threat.

We must ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand!!!!!

Out of concern for the public at large, I withheld the statistics on lawyers

for fear the shock would cause people to panic and seek medical attention!

Friday, July 16, 2010

Send oldies to the war

After all those heart warming stories here is one practical humrous one from an old gentleman with lots of common sense and practical reasoning. I am all for it. Let the oldies gas the terrorists.

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds (I thought it was once every micro second). Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' ...bang! bang! bang!...we are impatient and maybe letting us kill some dirtbag who desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for awhile.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up and cranky, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-gun.

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser. We will also be a liability because of the medicines the enemy would need to supply just to keep us alive in captivity.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling of wife n kids.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however... When have you ever seen an enemy dangle a rope over a 20-foot wall for you to climb, or who does push ups after chasing and shooting the enemy!!!. Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too... I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them. We could also gas the enemy with eco friendly gases (ever heard of a fart)

HEY!! How about recruiting Women over menopause!!! You think OLD MEN have attitudes??

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!

Send this LINK to all of your senior's in big type so they can read it.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Tell me who you love and I will tell you who you are !

In between all the nude or semi nude pictures and hot mms links that I post I do like to post these heart warming stories once in a while, because, believe me or not someday, if you live long enough, your horniness will dwindle and fade away and you will truly search for the meaning of your existence and true happiness. These random stories might help a bit in your search.

John stood up from the bench, straightened his Army uniform, and studied the crowd of people making their way through Grand Central Station. He looked for the girl whose heart he knew, but whose face he didn't, the girl with the rose.

His interest in her had begun thirteen months before in a Florida library. Taking a book off the shelf he found himself intrigued, not with the words of the book, but with the notes penciled in the margin. The soft handwriting reflected a thoughtful soul and insightful mind. In the front of the book, he discovered the previous owner's name, Miss Judith May.

With time and effort he located her address. She lived in New York City. He wrote her a letter introducing himself and inviting her to correspond. The next day he was shipped overseas for service in World War II. During the next year and one month the two grew to know each other through the mail.

Each letter was a seed falling on a fertile heart. A romance was budding. John requested a photograph, but she refused. She felt that if he really cared, it wouldn't matter what she looked like. When the day finally came for him to return from Europe, they scheduled their first meeting - 7:00 PM at the Grand Central Station in New York.

"You'll recognize me," she wrote, "by the red rose I'll be wearing on my lapel." So at 7:00 he was in the station looking for a girl whose heart he loved, but whose face he'd never seen. I'll let John tell you what happened next:

A young woman was coming toward me, her figure long and slim. Her blond hair lay back in curls from her delicate ears; her eyes were blue as flowers. Her lips and chin had a gentle firmness, and in her pale green suit she was like springtime come alive.

I started toward her, entirely forgetting to notice that she was not wearing a rose. As I moved, a small, provocative smile curved her lips. "Going my way, sailor?" she murmured. Almost uncontrollably I made one step closer to her, and then I saw Judith May.

She was standing almost directly behind the girl. A woman well past 40, she had graying hair tucked under a worn hat. She was more than plump, her thick-ankled feet thrust into low-heeled shoes.

The girl in the green suit was walking quickly away. I felt as though I was split in two, so keen was my desire to follow her, and yet so deep was my longing for the woman whose spirit had truly companioned me and upheld my own.

And there she stood. Her pale, plump face was gentle and sensible, her gray eyes had a warm and kindly twinkle. I did not hesitate. My fingers gripped the small worn blue leather copy of the book that was to identify me to her. This would not be love, but it would be something precious, something perhaps even better than love, a friendship for which I had been and must ever be grateful.

I squared my shoulders and saluted and held out the book to the woman, even though while I spoke I felt choked by the bitterness of my disappointment. "I'm Lieutenant John, and you must be Miss Judith May. I am so glad you could meet me; may I take you to dinner?"

The woman's face broadened into a tolerant smile. "I don't know what this is about, son," she answered, "but the young lady in the green suit who just went by, she begged me to wear this rose on my coat. And she said if you were to ask me out to dinner, I should go and tell you that she is waiting for you in the big restaurant across the street. She said it was some kind of test!" It's not difficult to understand and admire Miss Judith May wisdom. The true nature of a heart is seen in its response to the unattractive.

"Tell me whom you love," Houssaye wrote, "And I will tell you who you are..."

Sunday, July 11, 2010


A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.

He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. "Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping. Love You!"

Totally shocked with the note , he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. He asks, "Son, what happened
last night?"

His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door".

Confused, the man asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!"

His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said, "LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M MARRIED!"

Moral :
Self-induced hangover - $ 400.00
Broken crockery - $ 800.00
Breakfast - $ 10.00
Saying the Right Thing While Drunk - PRICELESS

Friday, July 9, 2010

Don't waste your time reading this

In the movie, Scent of a Woman, there's a scene where Al Pacino asks a girl to dance and she replies, "I can't, my boyfriend will be here any minute now". To which Al responds, "A life is lived in an instant". Then they dance to a tango.

Many of us live our lives running behind time, but we only reach it when we die of a heart attack or in a car accident rushing to be on time. Others are so anxious of living the future that they forget to live the present, which is the only time that truly exists. We all have equal time throughout the
world. No one has more or less. The difference lies in what each one of us does with our time.

We need to live each moment. As John Lennon said, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans".

Congratulations for reading till the end of this message. There are many who would have stopped in the middle so as not to waste time.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Am I considerate or what!

The first time I was in Sweden, one of my colleagues picked me up at the hotel every morning. It was September, bit cold and snowy. We would arrive early at the company and he would park far away from the entrance (2000 employees drive their car to work).

The first day, I didn't say anything, either the second or third. One morning I asked, "Do you have a fixed parking space? I've noticed we park far from the entrance even when there are no other cars in the lot." To which he replied, "Since we're here early we'll have time to walk, and whoever gets in late will be late and need a place closer to the door. Don't you think?

Well I like my parking place to be the closest to the entrance of the venue be it a wedding or a funeral. (I do forget that on my own funeral the van carrying me will have the privilege of entering the venue itself). If I am late I try to double park and block other vehicles. How dare they encroach on the VIP parking place. In India everyone is a VIP (very immature person). Why should we be blamed we take the lead from the leaders.

Any car with a red beacon on top would drop its occupants right up to the event location, if they could they would drive it up the stage to disgorge the privileged neta or bureaucrat. At diespersal time all the Red beacon-ed cars would back up as close to the VIP exit as they can without tripping the VIP him/herself. (they probably would run over the bride or the groom or both if they could drive up to the lagan mandap. Hello ji congratulations ji on Pappus wedding..where is pappu..under your right rear wheel Neta ji. oh..and the bride ..well she is leaving for the funeral parlor as we speak.

Either Indian bureaucrats/policemen/local netas cant walk or their drivers have bets as to who can get the car closest to their VIP's knee. I think it must be the later cause these guys run well when they are being chased by the Tax men, vigilance bureau or CBI sleuths.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Your Choice

Two Choices

What would you do? make the choice. Don't look for a punch line, there isn't one. Read it anyway. My question is: Would you have made the same choice?

At a fund raising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question:

'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection.

Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do.

Where is the natural order of things in my son?'

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. 'I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'

Then he told the following story:

Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?' I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.'

Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.

In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again.

Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the

plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.

The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.

The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay.

As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

The game would now be over.

The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman.

Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.

Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates.

Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first!

Run to first!'

Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base.

He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!'

Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.

B y the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball . The smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.

He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.

Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.

All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay'

Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third!

Shay, run to third!'

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!'

Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team

'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.

Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!


We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail or pass on the links to sites without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people hesitate.

The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces.

If you're thinking about sending a link about this message, chances are that you're probably sorting out the people in your mind who aren't the 'appropriate' ones to receive this type of link, I believe that we all can make a difference.

We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the 'natural order of things.'

So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice:

Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?

A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it's least fortunate amongst them.

You now have two choices:

1. Forget about this story
2. Ask others to read it

Saturday, July 3, 2010

M.S. Dhoni and Shaksi Singh Rawat engaged pictures

M.S. Dhoni the 28 year-old Indian cricket team captain got engaged to Sakshi Singh Rawat, a Kolkata girl in her early 20s. Dhoni and Shaksi got engaged at a quiet ceremony in Dehradun in Uttra Anchal 3rd July Saturday night. Dhoni's family sources in Ranchi confirmed the development.

Dhoni, chose a hill station for the simple ceremony. The Dhoni Shaksi engagement function, took place at Bhagirathi Resorts at Selaqui, about 20 km from the Dehradun.

Sakshi Singh Rawat is a 20 something,Sakshi, who studied at the Welham Girls' School in Dehradun is a 3rd year student at Institute of Hotel Management (IHM), Aurangabad, and she has recently completed her training at Taj Bengal's front office.

According to people close to Shaksi she is a very pretty girl and Dhoni is lucky to have got her. She is like a little bird, chirpy and full of life and she was fairly good in studies as well as extra-curricular activities.

These are the pictures of Shaksi Singh Rawat.

The engagement ceremony of Dhoni and Shaksi took place at 6.30 pm where they exchanged rings the presence of relatives from both sides who arrived in three buses. India players Ashish Nehra and Harbhajan Singh were among those present for the ceremony.

The couple had been seeing each other for nearly two years and they had holidayed together in Mussoorie and Dehradun last year.

According to family members of Mahendra Singh Dhoni no date for marriage has been fixed as yet but maybe the couple will tie the knot after the Australian series at home which gets over on October 24th.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

MMS scandals of Isabel Kaif and MTV roadie Tamanna

More mms scandals keep coming out on the net. Few recent ones are the Katrina Kaif's sister Isabella Kaif MMS scandal and MTV Roadie Tamanna hot mms. The MMS has a girl who looks like Isabella Kaif in the nude and the Tamanna mms has some indian girl who is wearing the same kind of locket that Tamanna was wearing in her pictures.

After steaming MMS of Sahid Kapoor Kareena Kapoor made news, it is now the time for other hot MMS of celebrities making the rounds on the net.

This homemade hot mms features Isabel look alike. Some are trying to brush this MMS aside by claiming that a look alike of Isabel has been a part of the video. The video which has been shot in December 2009 is probably made public when Isabel Kaif is trying to find a foothold in this industry. Isabel’s nude MMS first made rounds in UK and no confirmation or denial had been

Labeled as Katrina Kaif sister’s sex scandal this video had been made public on You Tube. Isabel Kaif's scandalous video was hosted on video sharing websites. The video first started to circulate with the title "Katrina's Sis Isabel Kaif s3x scandal."

The Kaif family -- especially the girls' mother has strongly denied that the girl in the video is Isabel and will take legal action if they find the person responsible for the video. The general consensus seems to be that the video likely does not depict Isabel Kaif, but the speculation surrounding the video has affected her fledgling film career.

The second hot mms in circulation and the most downloaded mms is of the MTV Roadie Tamanna. The so called 'Tamanna MMS video' features a 37-second sex tape with a girl, who stunningly resembles to the MTV Roadie, having sex with a boy.

People are searching for links to the MTV Roadie Tamanna mms and links to Isablel kaif hot mms on the net.

Earlier, Shahid Kapoor and Kareena Kapoor, Riya Sen and Ashmit Patel were the victims of Sex scandal through MMS.

Sex videos showing look-alike of celebrities have been doing the rounds of the cyber space for years. Often police complaints are filed and culprits hunted down.

MiD DAY broke the news of a sex-tape involving a Noida B-school student in February. In fact, there are a number of video sharing websites, which thrive on such tapes.

By the way this too is one such blog in case u missed the point. Give the people the poison they want is my motto. Darn!! didn't even know i had a motto. But this blod provides other fun stuff besides Hot mms video clips of celebrities.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Farting faux pas-Hilarious

A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for Christmas dinner.

This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous.

They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.

The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart.

It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poof.

Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing under the woman's chair, and said in a rather stern voice, 'Skippy!'.

The woman thought, 'This is great!' and a big smile came across her face.

A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again.

This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer rrrrrip.

The father again looked at the dog and yelled, 'Skippy!'

Once again the woman smiled and thought 'Yes!' A few minutes later the woman had to let another rip.. This time she didn't even think about it.

She let a fart rip that rivaled a train whistle blowing.

Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, 'Skippy, get away from her, before she shits on you!'

Ten Commandments of Marriage.

While on the topic of commandments might as well add a few more

Commandment 1.

Marriages are made in heaven.
But so again, are thunder and lightning.

Commandment 2.

If you want your spouse to listen and
pay strict attention to every word you say,
talk in your sleep.

Commandment 3.

Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!

Commandment 4.

Married life is very frustrating.
In the first year of marriage,
the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks
and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and
the neighbours listen.

Commandment 5.

When a man opens the door of his car
for his wife, you can be sure of one thing:
Either the car is new or the wife is.

Commandment 6.

Marriage is when a man and woman
become as one; the trouble starts when
they try to decide which one.

Commandment 7.

Before marriage, a man will lie awake
all night thinking about something you
said.. After marriage, he will fall asleep
before you finish.

Commandment 8.

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful,
understanding, economical, and a good
cook. But the law allows only one wife.

Commandment 9.

Every woman wants a man who is handsome,
understanding, economical and a considerate
lover, but again, the law allows only
one husband.

Commandment 10.

Man is incomplete until he marries.
After that, he is finished.

Bonus Commandment story..................

A long married couple came upon a wishing well.
The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
The husband decided to make a wish too.

But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.
The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "It really works!"

How the Jews got their Ten Commandments

In the beginning, God went to the Arabs and said, ”I have Commandments for you, that will make your lives better "
The Arabs asked, "What are Commandments? Can you give us an example? "
God said, ”For example........... Thou shall not kill”
The Arabs were shocked, ”What ? Not kill ? No way!
Killing and massacring innocent people is our birth-right and the only reason for our existence. No. We are not interested!"

So God went to the Africans and said, ”I have Commandments”
The Africans wanted an example.
God said, ”For example ........... Honour thy Father and Mother "
The Africans were dismayed. They said, ”Father ? Yo maan !
Can't tell for sure, who our fathers are, maan ! "
So God went to the Mexicans and said, ”I have Commandments "
The Mexicans wanted an example.
God said, " For example ........... Thou shall not steal”
The Mexicans were flabbergasted. They said, ”No steal ? No steal ??? Hey Senor, we no steal then how we live, huh ?
Gracias, but no ! "

So God went to the French and said, ”I have Commandments”
The French wanted an example.
God said, " For example ........... Thou shall not commit adultery”
The French were stunned. They said, ”What ? Not commit ze adultery ....... ? Non, Non, Non. Non Monsieur. Pardonnez nous.
We ze French, must have ze romance "

So God went to the Jews and said, " I have Commandments "
They asked, ”Commandments? How much do they cost "
God replied, ”They are free "
The Jews answered, ”Good. We shall take Ten!!!

Change for better!

There's an old sea story in the Navy about a ship's Captain who inspected
his sailors,and afterward told the Chief that his men smelled bad. The Captain
suggested perhaps it would help if the sailors would change underwear occasionally.

The Chief responded, "Aye, aye sir, I'll see to it immediately!"

The Chief went straight to the sailors berth deck and announced,

"The Captain thinks you guys smell bad and wants you to change your

He continued, "Pittman, you change with Jo nes, McCarthy, you change with
Witkowski, and Brown, you change with Schultz. Now GET TO IT!"


Someone may come along and promise "Change", but don't count on things
smelling any better.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Shah Rukh Khan Old Pictures and Trivia

Shahrukh Khan was born on 2nd November 1965. He was brought up in Delhi. He has a sister named Shehnaaz.

Shahrukh Khan studied in St. Columba's school, New Delhi, where he was awarded the 'Sword of Honor', essentially the award for best student.He Was not very good at Hindi in school, until his mother promised to take him to the cinema if he passed. As he loved films,he got top marks from then on.

At school he was an ace in Hindi, Electronics and Biology but wasn't good at all in Mathematics.

He had captained all teams in football, cricket and hockey and even played cricket at Zone and National level.

Had Graduated from Hansraj College, Delhi University and followed it up with a Masters Degree in Mass Communications (Film making) from Jamiya Milia Islamiya University, in New Delhi, but after a year Shah Rukh opted out as he had to make his acting career in Bollywood.

For a short span of time Shahrukh ran a restaurant in Dariya Ganj in New Delhi, India. Shah Rukh Khan joined Barry John's theatre group (TAG) in New Delhi and learned acting from him.

His parents died before he entered movies. Shahrukh considers it a big regret that they couldn't see what their son was to become.His Father Meer Mohammed Taj Khan died of Cancer in 1981 and his Mother Lateef Fatima Khan died of complications in Diabetes in 1991.

He married Gauri Khan on 25 October 1991. They have two children, son Aryan Khan (b. 1997) and daughter Suhana (b. 2000).

Friday, June 18, 2010

The First Grader

A first-grade teacher, Ms Neely (Age 28) was having
trouble with one of her students

The teacher asked, "Boy what is your problem?"

Boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My
sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I
should be in the third-grade too!"

Ms Neely had enough. She took Boy to the Principal ' s
office. The principal told Ms Neely he would give the boy a
test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back
to the first-grade and behave. She agreed.

Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to
him and he agreed to take the test:

Principal: "What is 3x3?"

Boy: "9"

Principal: "What is 6x6?"

Boy: "36"

And so it went with every question the principal thought
a third-grade should know. The principal looks at Ms Neely and tells
her, "I think the boy can go to the third-grade."

Ms Neely says to the principal, "I have some of my own
questions. Can I ask him?" The principal and Boy both agree.

Ms Neely asks: "What does a cow have four of that I
have only two of?

Boy, after a moment: "Legs"!

Ms Neely: "What is in your pants that you have but I do
not have?"

Boy: "Pockets"!

Ms Neely: "What starts with a C and ends with a T, is
hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?"

Boy: Coconut

Ms Neely: " What goes in hard and pink then comes out
soft and sticky?" The Principal ' s eyes open really wide and before he
could stop the answer, Boy quickly answered..

Boy: Bubblegum

Ms Neely: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does
sitting down and a dog does on three legs?" The Principal ' s eyes again open really wide and before he could stop the answer...

Boy: Shake hands

Ms Neely: "Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of
questions, okay?"

Boy: "Yep"

Ms Neely: "You stick Your poles inside me. You tie me
down to get me up.. I get wet before you do."

Boy: "Tent"

Ms Neely: "A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you ' re bored. The best man always has me first."

The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Vodka on the sly.

Boy: "Wedding Ring"

Ms Neely: "I come in many sizes. When I ' m not well, I
drip. When you blow me, you feel good."

Boy: "Nose"

Ms Neely: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver."

Boy: "Arrow"

Ms Neely: "What word starts with a ' F ' and ends in ' K '
that means lot of heat and excitement?"

Boy: "Firetruck"

Ms Neely: "What word starts with a ' F ' and ends in ' K '
& if u don ' t get it u have to use your hand"

Boy: "Fork"

Ms Neely: "What is it that all men have. It ' s longer
for some men than on others. The nuns don't need it. The pope doesn't
use his and a man gives it to his wife after they ' re married?"


Ms Neely: "What part of the man has no bone but has
muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making

Boy: "HEART"

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher:
"Send this Boy to University, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"

Thursday, June 3, 2010

The Battle of Saragarhi

"21 Sikhs" is the incredible story of 21 men of the 36th Sikh Regiment (currently the 4th Sikh Regiment) who gave up their lives in devotion to their duty during the Battle of Saragarhi. This battle, like any others fought by the Sikhs, highlights the heroic action by a small detachment of Sikh soldiers against heavy odds. This encounter took place on 12 September 1897 in the Tirah region of North-West Frontier Province (now in Pakistan, which then formed part of British India). In keeping with the tradition of the Sikh Army, they fought to the death rather than surrender.

The contingent of the twenty-one Sikhs from the 36th Sikhs was led by Havildar Ishar Singh. They all chose to fight to the death. Sikh military personnel and Sikh civilians commemorate the battle every year on 12 September, as Saragarhi Day.

The Battle at Saragarhi is one of eight stories of collective bravery published by UNESCO (United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization). It has been mentioned as one of the five most significant events of its kind in the world which includes the Battle of Thermopylae associated with the heroic stand of a small Greek force against the mighty Persian Army of Xerxes I in 480 B.C.

The British colonial rulers had constructed a series of forts to control the NWFP (North West Frontier Province - today a state in Pakistan) and to provide security to troops against marauding tribesmen and their lashkars (large body of troops). Most of these forts had initially been built by Maharaja Ranjit Singh as part of the consolidation of the Sikh empire in Punjab and the British added some more. The British had only partially succeeded in gaining control over this region, consequently, skirmishes and sometimes serious fights with the tribals were a frequent occurrence. However, the NWFP was a good training ground for the Indian Army to hone its skills and techniques.

Two such forts on the Samana ridge of the Hindukush & Sulaiman ranges that is Fort Lockhart and Fort Gulistan were a few miles apart. Since these forts were not inter-visible, a signalling relay post called Saragarhi was located mid-way on a bluff to provide heliographic (A heliograph is a simple device for sending Morse code using a mirror catching the sunlight) communications between them. This post or picket had been fortified to provide safety and protection to the signalling detachment. In 1897 there was a general uprising in the NWFP engineered by Afghans as part of their policy, which came to be known as the 'prickly heat policy' to direct the wrath of the tribals against the British. In this uprising, Mullahs (Muslim religious leaders) played a prominent role. It was the duty of the 36th Sikh to occupy Gulistan and Lockhart forts. On 3rd and 9th September 1897, Orakazai and Afridi lashkars attacked Fort Gulistan. On both occasion the attacks were beaten back. A relief column was sent from the fort to assist in beating back these attacks.

The relief column from Lockhart on the return trip reinforced the signalling detachment at Saragarhi making its strength to 1 NCO (Non-Commissioned Officer) and 20 ORs (Other Ranks). In a renewed effort, on 12 September 1897, hordes of tribesmen laid siege to Fort Lockhart and Saragarhi, with the aim of overrunning the latter and at the same time preventing any help from the former. The Commanding Officer of 36th Sikh, Lt. Col. Haughton, was at Fort Lockhart and was in communication with the Saragarhi post through helicograph. The defenders of Saragarhi under the indomitable and inspiring leadership of their detachment commander, Havildar Ishar Singh, resolved to defend their post in the best tradition of their race and regiment. They were not there to hand over the post to the enemy and seek safety elsewhere. Havildar Singh and his men knew well that the post would fall, because a handful of men in that make-shift fort of stones & mud walls with a wooden door could not stand the onslaught of thousands of tribesmen. These plucky men knew that they will go down but they had resolved to do so fighting to the last.
From Fort Lockhart, troops and the Commanding Officer could count at least 14 standards and that gave an idea of the number of tribes and their massed strength against the Saragarhi relay post (estimated at between 10,000 to 12,000 tribals). From early morning the tribals started battering the fort. The Sikhs fought back valiantly. Charge after charge was repulsed by the men of the 36th Sikh. The tribal leaders started to make tempting promises so that the Sikhs would surrender. But Havildar Singh and his men ignored them. For quite some time, the troops held their own against the determined and repeated attacks by the wild and ferocious hordes. A few attempts were made to send a relief column from Fort Lockhart but these were foiled by the tribals.

At Saragarhi, the enemy made two determined attempts to rush the gate of the post and on both occasions the defenders repulsed the assault. While the enemy suffered heavy casualties, the ranks of the defenders too kept dwindling as the fire from the attackers took its toll and their ammunition stocks were depleting. Unmindful of his safety, Sepoy Gurmukh Singh kept signalling a minute-to-minute account of the battle from the signal tower in the post to Battalion HQs. The battle lasted the better part of the day. When repeated attacks failed, the enemy set fire to the surrounding bushes & shrubs and two of the tribesmen under cover of smoke, managed to close in with the post's boundary wall in an area blind to the defender's observation and rifle fire from the post holes. They succeeded in making a breach in the wall. This development could be seen from Fort Lockhart and was flashed to the post.
A few men from those defending the approaches to the gate were dispatched to deal with the breach in the wall. This diversion by the enemy and the defenders' reaction resulted in weakening of the fire covering the gate. The enemy now rushed the gate as well as the breach. Thereafter, one of the fiercest hand-to-hand fights followed. One of the Havildar Singh's men, who was seriously wounded and was profusely bleeding, had taken charge of the guardroom. He shot four of the enemy as they tried to approach his charge. All this time, Sepoy Gurmukh Singh continued flashing the details of the action at the post. Beside this the Commanding Officer of 36th Sikh and others at Lockhart Fort also saw his unique saga of heroism and valour unfold at Saragarhi. The battle had come too close for Sepoy Gurmukh Singh's comfort, so he asked Battalion HQs for permission to shut down the heliograph and take up his rifle. Permission was flashed back. He dismounted his heliograph equipment, packed it in a leather bag, fixed bayonet on his rifle and joined the fight. From this vantage point in the tower he wrought havoc on the intruders in the post. He died fighting, but took 20 of the enemy with him.

The tribals set fire to the post, while the brave garrison lay dead or dying with their ammunition exhausted. Next morning the relief column reached the post and the tell tale marks of the epic fight were there for all to see. The tribals later admitted to figure of 180 dead and many more wounded. This episode when narrated in the British Parliament, drew from the members a standing ovation in the memory of the defenders of Saragarhi. The story of the heroic deeds of these men was also placed before Queen Victoria. The account was received all over the world with awe and admiration. All the 21 valiant men of this epic battle were awarded the Indian Order of Merit Class III (posthumously) which at the time was one of the highest gallantry awards given to Indian troops and is considered equivalent to the present-day Vir Chakra. All dependants of the Saragarhi heroes were awarded 50 acres of land and 500 Rupees. Never before or since has a body of troops - that is, all of them won gallantry awards in a single action. It is indeed a singularly unique action in the annals of Indian military history.

The names of the 21 recipients of the gallantry award are:

1. Havildar Ishar Singh (regimental number 165[10])
2. Naik Lal Singh (332)
3. Lance Naik Chanda Singh (546)
4. Sepoy Sundar Singh (1321)
5. Sepoy Ram Singh (287)
6. Sepoy Uttar Singh (492)
7. Sepoy Sahib Singh (182)
8. Sepoy Hira Singh (359)
9. Sepoy Daya Singh (687)
10. Sepoy Jivan Singh (760)
11. Sepoy Bhola Singh (791)
12. Sepoy Narayan Singh (834)
13. Sepoy Gurmukh Singh (814)
14. Sepoy Jivan Singh (871)
15. Sepoy Gurmukh Singh (1733)
16. Sepoy Ram Singh (163)
17. Sepoy Bhagwan Singh (1257)
18. Sepoy Bhagwan Singh (1265)
19. Sepoy Buta Singh (1556)
20. Sepoy Jivan Singh (1651)
21. Sepoy Nand Singh (1221)

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Miss USA Rima Fakih Pole dancing Pictures and Video Controversy

The world goes gaga over a Lebanese-born first ever Muslim to wear the Miss USA crown. There is a slap in the face of conservatism. But is it really so! Seems the liberal west has its own moral guidelines as to how much fun a woman can have.

Yes you can walk the ramp in a bikini but you can not pole dance fully clothed.For the ignorant lot out there pole does not refer to Polish nationals ( miss USA is allowed to dance with Poles but not pole dancing).

Rima Fakih, 24 seems to have landed in trouble after news surfaced of her winning a pole dancing contest at a strip club in Detroit in 2007. They can take her crown away for this. Although she would be allowed to keep the pole and sex toys she won in the competition.

Fakih was photographed sliding up and down a stripper’s pole in a blue tank top, hot pants and high heels. Other photographs from the competition showed her wearing a bra stuffed with dollar bills

The photos were posted on the website of a Detroit-based radio show following her triumph at the beauty pageant Sunday in Las Vegas. I wonder why the sleazy radio shows are not banned for throwing up muck.

The radio show’s producers claim they have been contacted by the organisers of the Miss Universe competition requesting additional information regarding Miss Fakih’s involvement. I am sure they want to get their hands on the nude pictures of Miss USA for personal viewing.

It is not known if organisers of Miss USA were aware of Miss Fakih winning the ‘Stripper 101′ contest three years ago at a women-only striptease class at the Coliseum Gentleman’s Club. She is believed to have won a variety of prizes, including adult toys and a stripper’s pole.

Her winning the contest and the crown is a shakes the booties of both Muslims and middle class Americans. Americans must be wondering whats next; and rightly so. First son of a black Kenyan becomes US president and now a Lebanese Muslim wins the Miss USA title...

Last year’s winner Carrie Prejean was stripped off her title after it emerged she had made a sex tape. I hope they do not do the same to Miss USA Rima Fakih for dancing with a pole and winning all those sex toys. Maybe they should take away her pole as punishment for having fun or better still bomb the poles. (With my due apologies to the Poles for the pun but would the Americans know the difference!)

Saturday, May 8, 2010

This Happens only in India

This Happens only in India

These pictures go a long way in showing why India is the second fastest growing economy in the world. Things which would be unimaginable anywhere else are routine matter here. How we deal with this is an amazing aspect of being Indian.

Who is Connected to who!!! Where is the fault in this connection.

Friday, April 23, 2010

A Must Read For All The Spiritually Inclined

Although personally I have nothing against all the so called Gurus and spiritual teachers (Swami Nityanand included). Whether they do it for money or Sex; its their business and of those who are paying for it or getting paid/laid for it. If it brings happiness and peace of mind to some (specially the Gurus who are getting paid and laid) so be it. I can be envious as hell but I do not mind. But here is a point of view that is like a breath of fresh air. It does not matter whether you agree or disagree with it, but its worth a thought. Why I say worth A thought is because if one was capable of more than a single thought one would not be running after the gurus anyways.

More than two years ago (on March 14, 2008), Hindi poet and film lyricist Javed Akhtar (also known for his efforts to promote education and women’s rights) spoke at the India Today conclave, which discussed the theme “Leadership for the 21st century”.

An atheist, Javed Akhtar headed a session on “Is spirituality relevant to leadership?” Here is his speech on the occasion – controversial but thoughtful, old but not dated.

I am quite sure ladies and gentlemen, that in this august assembly nobody would envy my position at this moment. Speaking after such a charismatic and formidable personality like Sri Sri Ravi Shankar is like coming out of the pavilion to play after Tendulkar has made a sparkling century. But in some weak moment I had committed myself.

There are certain things that I would like to make very clear at the very outset. Don't get carried away by my name – Javed Akhtar. I am not revealing a secret, I am saying something that I have said many times, in writing or on TV, in public…I am an atheist, I have no religious beliefs. And obviously I don't believe in spirituality of some kind. Any kind.

Another thing. I am not standing here to criticize, analyze, or attack his gentleman who is sitting here. We have a very pleasant, civilized relation. I have always found him to be an extremely courteous person.

One is talking about an idea, an attitude, a mindset. Not any individual.

I must tell you that when Rajeev opened this session, for a moment I felt that I have come to the wrong place. Because, if we are discussing the philosophy of Krishan and Gautam and Kabir, Vivekanand, then I have nothing to say. I can sit down right now. I am not here to discuss a glorious past of which I suppose every Indian is proud, and rightly so. I am here to discuss a dubious present. India Today has invited me and I have come here to talk about spirituality today.

Let's not be confused by this word spirituality, you can find two people with the same name and they can be totally different people. Ram Charit Manas was written by Tulsidas. And the television film has been made by Ramanand Sagar. Ramayan is common but I don't think it would be very wise to club Tulsidas with Ramanand Sagar.

I remember, when Tulsidas wrote Ramcharit Manas, he had faced a kind of a social boycott. How could he write a holy book in such a language like Avadhi? Sometimes I wonder fundamentalists of all hues and all colors, religions and communities…how similar they are. In 1798, a gentleman called Shah Abdul Qadir, in this very city, for the first time translated Quran in Urdu, and all the ulemas of that time gave fatwa against him that how could he translate this holy book in such a heathen language.

When Tulsi wrote Ramcharit Manas and he was boycotted, I remember achowpai that he had written.

"Dhut kohu, abdhut kohu, rajput kohu, ki julawa kohu

Kohu ki beti se beta na biahab, kohu ki jaat bigaar na chahu

Mang ke khaibo, mehjid ma raihbo, lebe ka ek na debe ka dohu"

Ramanand Sagar, when he made his television serial, he made millions.

I am not undermining him, but obviously he is much lower in the rung.

I will give you another example. Perhaps it would be more direct and more appropriate. Gautam came out of a palace and went into the wilderness to find the truth. But nowadays we see, the modern age gurus, come out of the wilderness and wind up in the palaces. They are moving in the opposite direction. We can't talk of them in the same breath. So let us not hide behind names which are dear and respectable for every Indian.

When I was invited to give this talk, I felt that yes, I am an atheist, try to be a rationalist in any given situation, Maybe that's why I have been called. But suddenly I have realized that there is
another quality that I share with modern age gurus. I work in films. We have lot in common. Both of us sell dreams, both of us create illusions, both of us create icons, but with a difference. After three hours we put a placard – the end. Go back to reality. They don't.

So ladies and gentlemen, let me make it very clear that I have come to talk of this spirituality that has a supermarket in the world. Arms, drugs and spirituality – these are the three big businesses in the world. But in arms and drugs you really have to do something, give something. That's the difference. Here you don't have to give anything.

In this supermarket you get instant nirvana, moksha by mail, a crash course in self realization, cosmic consciousness in four easy lessons. This supermarket has its chain all over the world, where the restless elite buy spiritual fast food. I am talking about this spirituality.

Plato in his dialogues has said many a wise thing, and one of them is – before starting any discussion decide on the meanings of words. Let us try to decide on the meaning of this word spirituality. Does it mean love for mankind that transcends all religion, caste, creed, race? Is that so? Then I have no problem. Except that I call ithumanity.

Does it mean love of plants, trees, mountains, oceans, rivers, animals? The non-human world? If that is so, again I have no problem at all. Except that I call it environmental consciousness.

Does spirituality mean heartfelt regard for social institutions like marriage, parenthood, fine arts, judiciary, freedom of expression. I have no problem again sir, how can I disagree here? I call it civil responsibility.

Does spirituality mean going into your own world, trying to understand the meaning of your own life? Who can object to that? I call it self-introspection, self assessment.

Does spirituality mean yoga? Thanks to Patanjali, who has given us the details of yoga, yam, yatam, aasan, pranayam…We may do it under any name, but if we are doing pranayam, wonderful. I call it health care. Physical fitness.

Now is it a matter of only semantics. If all this is spirituality, then what is the discussion. All these words that I have used are extremely respectable and totally acceptable words. There is nothing abstract or intangible about them. So why stick to this word spirituality? What is there in spirituality that has not been covered by all these words? Is there something? If that is so then what is it?

Somebody in return can ask me what is y problem with this word. I am asking to change it, leave it, drop it, make it obsolete but why so? I will tell you what is my reservation. If spirituality means all this then there is no discussion. But there is something else which makes me uneasy. In a dictionary, the meaning of spirituality is rooted in a word called "spirit". When mankind didn't know whether this earth is round or flat, he had decided that human beings are actually the combination of two things. Body and spirit.

Body is temporary, it dies. But the spirit is, shall I say, non-biodegradable. In your body you have a liver and heart and intestines and the brain, but since the brain is a part of the body, and mind lies within the brain, it is inferior because ultimately the brain too shall die with the body, but don't worry, you are not going to die, because you are your spirit, and the spirit has the supreme consciousness that will remain, and whatever problem you have is because you listen to your mind.

Stop listening to your mind. Listen to your spirit -- the supreme consciousness that knows the cosmic truth. All right. It's not surprising that in Pune there is an ashram and I used to go there. I loved the oratory. On the gate of the lecture hall there was a placard. Leave your shoes and minds here. There are other gurus who don't mind if you carry your shoes. But minds? Sorry.

Now, if you leave your mind what do you do? You need the Guru to find the next station of consciousness. That hides somewhere in the spirit. He has reached the supreme consciousness, he knows the supreme truth. But can he tell you. No sir, he cannot tell you. So can you find out
on your own? No sir, you need the guru for that.

You need him but he cannot guarantee that you will know the ultimate truth… and what is that ultimate truth? What is the cosmic truth? Relating to cosmos? I have really not been able to understand that. The moment we step out of the solar system the first star is Alpha.Centueri. It is just four light years away. How do I relate to that!! What do I do!!

So the emperor is wearing robes that only the wise can see. And the emperor is becoming bigger and bigger. And there are more and more wise people who are appreciating the robe.

I used to think that actually spirituality is the second line ofdefence for religious people. When they get embarrassed about traditional religion, when it starts looking too down-market, they
hide behind this smokescreen of cosmos and super consciousness. But that is not the complete truth. Because the clientele of traditional religion and spirituality is different.

You take the map of the world, you start marking places which are extremely religious, within India or outside India, Asia, Latin America, Europe…wherever. You will find that wherever there is lot of religion there is lack of human rights. There is repression. Anywhere. Our Marxist friends used to say that religion is the opium of poor masses, the sigh of the oppressed. I don't want to get into that discussion. But spirituality nowadays is definitely the tranquilizer of the rich. You see that the clientele is well heeled, it is the affluent class.

Alright, so the guru gets power, high self esteem, status, wealth…(which is not that important), power…and lot of wealth too. What does the disciple get? When I looked at them carefully I realized that there are categories and categories of these disciples. It's not a monolith.

There are different kinds of followers. Different kinds of disciples. One, who is rich, successful, doing extremely well in his life, making money, gaining property. Now, since he has everything he wants absolution too. So guru tells him - whatever you are doing, is "niskaam karma" – you are playing a role, this is all "Maya", the money that you are making everyday and the property that you are acquiring, you are not emotionally involved with it. You are just playing a role. You come to me because you are in search of eternal truth. Maybe your hands are dirty, but your spirit and soul are pure.

And this man, he starts feeling wonderful about himself. For seven days he is exploiting the world, and at the end of the seven days when he goes and sits at the feet of the guru, he feels – I am a sensitive person.

There is another category. That too comes from the affluent class. But he is not the winner like the first one. You know winning or losing that is also relative. A rickshaw-wallah if he is gambling on the pavement and wins hundred rupees will feel victorious, and if a corporate man makes only 300 million dollars, while his brother is a billionaire, he will feel like a failure.

Now, what does this rich failure do? He needs a guru to tell him – who says that you have failed? You have other worlds, you have another vision, you have other sensibility that your brother doesn't have. He thinks that he is successful…wrong. The world is very cruel, you know. The world tells you honestly, no sir, you have got three out of ten. The other person has seven out of ten. Fair. They will treat you that way and they will meet you that way. There he gets compassion. There he plays another game.

Another category. And I will talk about this category not with contempt or with any sense of superiority, not any bitterness, but all the compassion available one that is a very big client of this modern day guru and today's spirituality, is the unhappy rich wife.

Here is a person who put all her individuality, aspirations and dreams, and her being at the altar of marriage and in return she got an indifferent husband. Who at the most gave her a couple of children. Who is rather busy with his work, or busy with other women. This woman needs a shoulder. She knows that she is an existential failure. There is nothing to look forward to. She has a vacuous, empty, comfortable yet purposeless life. It's sad, but it is true.

Then there are other people. Who are suddenly traumatized. They lose a child. The wife dies. The husband dies. Or they lose the property, they lose their business. Something happens that shocks them and they ask – why me? So who do they ask? They go to the Guru. And the guru
tells him that this is Karma. But there is another world if you follow me. Where there is no pain. Where there is no death. Where there is immortality. Where there is only bliss.

He tells all these unhappy souls – follow me and I will take you to heaven, to the paradise, where there is no pain. I am sorry sir, it is disappointing but true that there is no such paradise. Life will always have a certain quota of pain, of hurt, a possibility of defeat. But they do get some satisfaction.

Somebody may ask me if they are feeling better, if they are getting peace then what is your problem. It reminds me of a story that I have read. It's an old Indian story told by a sage, that a hungry dog finds a dry bone and tries to eat it and in the process bites its own tongue. And the tongue is bleeding and the dog feels that he is getting nourishment from the bone.

I feel sad. I don't want them, these adults, to behave like this because I respect them. Drugs and alcohol are also supposed to give mental peace and serenity, but is that kind of peace or serenity
desirable or advisable? The answer is no. Any mental peace that is not anchored in rational thoughts is nothing but self-deception. Any serenity that takes you away from truth is just an illusion – a mirage. I know that there is a kind of a security in this which is like the security of a tri-cycle. If you are riding a tri-cycle you can't fall. But adults do not ride tricycles. They ride bi-cycles. They can even fall. It is a part of life.

There is one more kind. Like everybody who is the member of the golf club is not fond of golf. In the same way everybody who is seen in an ashram is not a spiritual person. A film producer who is an ardent follower of a guru, whose ashram is about two hours from Delhi once told me that you must go to my Guru. You will see the who's who of Delhi there. Let me tell you my Guruji is another Chandraswami in the making. Now this is a contact point for networking.

I have great respect for people who are spiritual, or religious, and in spite of this they are good people. And I have a reason. I believe that like every emotion or feeling, you have a limitation.

You can see upto a point. And you can't see further. You can hear upto a point, but beyond that you won't be able to register sounds. You can mourn upto a point and then you will get over your mourning. You will feel happy upto a point and then you will be through with your happiness. Same way, I am sure that you have a certain capacity for nobility also. You can be as noble and no more.

Now suppose we count this capacity for nobility in the average man as ten units, now anybody who goes to pray in a mosque five times is consuming his five units, there anybody who goes to the temple or sits in the feet of the Guru, he is consuming his quota of nobility there. And in a totally non-productive manner.

I don't go to pray. I don't pray. If I don't go to any guru, or mosque or temple or church, what do I do with my quota of nobility. I will have to help somebody, feed somebody, give shelter to somebody. People who use their quota in worshipping, praying, adoring religious figures and spiritual figures, in spite of that, if they are left with some nobility, hats off to them.

You may ask me, that if I have this kind of ideas about religious people, why should I show such reverence for Krishan and Kabir and Gautam? You can ask me. I'll tell you why I respect them. These were the great contributors in the human civilization. They were born in different points of time in history, in different situations. But one thing is common in them. They stood up against injustice. They fought for the downtrodden. Whether it was Ravana, or Kansha or the pharaoh
or the high priests or the British Samrajya in front of Gandhi – or the communal empire of Firoze Tughlaq in the times of Kabir, they stood against that.

And what surprises me, and confirms my worst feelings, that today, the enlightened people who know the cosmic truth, none of them stand up against the powers that be. None of them raises his voice against the ruling classes and the privileged classes. Charity, yes, when it is approved and cleared by the establishment and the powers that be.

But I want to know which was that guru which took the dalits to those temples which are still closed to them. I want to know which was that guru who stood for the rights of the Adivasis against the thekedaars and contractors. I want to know which was that guru who spoke about
the victims of Gujarat and went to their relief camps. They are humanbeings.

It is not enough to teach the rich how to breathe. It is the rich man’s recreation. It is the hypocrites' pretension. It is a mischievous deception. And you know that in the Oxford dictionary, mischievous deception is a term that is used for a word, and that word is…HOAX.