Friday, June 18, 2010

The First Grader

A first-grade teacher, Ms Neely (Age 28) was having
trouble with one of her students

The teacher asked, "Boy what is your problem?"

Boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My
sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I
should be in the third-grade too!"

Ms Neely had enough. She took Boy to the Principal ' s
office. The principal told Ms Neely he would give the boy a
test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back
to the first-grade and behave. She agreed.

Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to
him and he agreed to take the test:

Principal: "What is 3x3?"

Boy: "9"

Principal: "What is 6x6?"

Boy: "36"

And so it went with every question the principal thought
a third-grade should know. The principal looks at Ms Neely and tells
her, "I think the boy can go to the third-grade."

Ms Neely says to the principal, "I have some of my own
questions. Can I ask him?" The principal and Boy both agree.

Ms Neely asks: "What does a cow have four of that I
have only two of?

Boy, after a moment: "Legs"!

Ms Neely: "What is in your pants that you have but I do
not have?"

Boy: "Pockets"!

Ms Neely: "What starts with a C and ends with a T, is
hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?"

Boy: Coconut

Ms Neely: " What goes in hard and pink then comes out
soft and sticky?" The Principal ' s eyes open really wide and before he
could stop the answer, Boy quickly answered..

Boy: Bubblegum

Ms Neely: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does
sitting down and a dog does on three legs?" The Principal ' s eyes again open really wide and before he could stop the answer...

Boy: Shake hands

Ms Neely: "Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of
questions, okay?"

Boy: "Yep"

Ms Neely: "You stick Your poles inside me. You tie me
down to get me up.. I get wet before you do."

Boy: "Tent"

Ms Neely: "A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you ' re bored. The best man always has me first."

The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Vodka on the sly.

Boy: "Wedding Ring"

Ms Neely: "I come in many sizes. When I ' m not well, I
drip. When you blow me, you feel good."

Boy: "Nose"

Ms Neely: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver."

Boy: "Arrow"

Ms Neely: "What word starts with a ' F ' and ends in ' K '
that means lot of heat and excitement?"

Boy: "Firetruck"

Ms Neely: "What word starts with a ' F ' and ends in ' K '
& if u don ' t get it u have to use your hand"

Boy: "Fork"

Ms Neely: "What is it that all men have. It ' s longer
for some men than on others. The nuns don't need it. The pope doesn't
use his and a man gives it to his wife after they ' re married?"


Ms Neely: "What part of the man has no bone but has
muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making

Boy: "HEART"

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher:
"Send this Boy to University, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"

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