Saturday, June 26, 2010

Ten Commandments of Marriage.

While on the topic of commandments might as well add a few more

Commandment 1.

Marriages are made in heaven.
But so again, are thunder and lightning.

Commandment 2.

If you want your spouse to listen and
pay strict attention to every word you say,
talk in your sleep.


Commandment 3.

Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!


Commandment 4.

Married life is very frustrating.
In the first year of marriage,
the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks
and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and
the neighbours listen.


Commandment 5.

When a man opens the door of his car
for his wife, you can be sure of one thing:
Either the car is new or the wife is.


Commandment 6.

Marriage is when a man and woman
become as one; the trouble starts when
they try to decide which one.

Commandment 7.

Before marriage, a man will lie awake
all night thinking about something you
said.. After marriage, he will fall asleep
before you finish.


Commandment 8.

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful,
understanding, economical, and a good
cook. But the law allows only one wife.


Commandment 9.

Every woman wants a man who is handsome,
understanding, economical and a considerate
lover, but again, the law allows only
one husband.


Commandment 10.

Man is incomplete until he marries.
After that, he is finished.



Bonus Commandment story..................

A long married couple came upon a wishing well.
The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
The husband decided to make a wish too.

But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.
The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "It really works!"

How the Jews got their Ten Commandments

In the beginning, God went to the Arabs and said, ”I have Commandments for you, that will make your lives better "
The Arabs asked, "What are Commandments? Can you give us an example? "
God said, ”For example........... Thou shall not kill”
The Arabs were shocked, ”What ? Not kill ? No way!
Killing and massacring innocent people is our birth-right and the only reason for our existence. No. We are not interested!"



So God went to the Africans and said, ”I have Commandments”
The Africans wanted an example.
God said, ”For example ........... Honour thy Father and Mother "
The Africans were dismayed. They said, ”Father ? Yo maan !
Can't tell for sure, who our fathers are, maan ! "
So God went to the Mexicans and said, ”I have Commandments "
The Mexicans wanted an example.
God said, " For example ........... Thou shall not steal”
The Mexicans were flabbergasted. They said, ”No steal ? No steal ??? Hey Senor, we no steal then how we live, huh ?
Gracias, but no ! "

So God went to the French and said, ”I have Commandments”
The French wanted an example.
God said, " For example ........... Thou shall not commit adultery”
The French were stunned. They said, ”What ? Not commit ze adultery ....... ? Non, Non, Non. Non Monsieur. Pardonnez nous.
We ze French, must have ze romance "

So God went to the Jews and said, " I have Commandments "
They asked, ”Commandments? How much do they cost "
God replied, ”They are free "
The Jews answered, ”Good. We shall take Ten!!!

Change for better!

There's an old sea story in the Navy about a ship's Captain who inspected
his sailors,and afterward told the Chief that his men smelled bad. The Captain
suggested perhaps it would help if the sailors would change underwear occasionally.

The Chief responded, "Aye, aye sir, I'll see to it immediately!"

The Chief went straight to the sailors berth deck and announced,

"The Captain thinks you guys smell bad and wants you to change your
underwear."

He continued, "Pittman, you change with Jo nes, McCarthy, you change with
Witkowski, and Brown, you change with Schultz. Now GET TO IT!"

THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS:

Someone may come along and promise "Change", but don't count on things
smelling any better.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Shah Rukh Khan Old Pictures and Trivia








Shahrukh Khan was born on 2nd November 1965. He was brought up in Delhi. He has a sister named Shehnaaz.

Shahrukh Khan studied in St. Columba's school, New Delhi, where he was awarded the 'Sword of Honor', essentially the award for best student.He Was not very good at Hindi in school, until his mother promised to take him to the cinema if he passed. As he loved films,he got top marks from then on.

At school he was an ace in Hindi, Electronics and Biology but wasn't good at all in Mathematics.

He had captained all teams in football, cricket and hockey and even played cricket at Zone and National level.

Had Graduated from Hansraj College, Delhi University and followed it up with a Masters Degree in Mass Communications (Film making) from Jamiya Milia Islamiya University, in New Delhi, but after a year Shah Rukh opted out as he had to make his acting career in Bollywood.

For a short span of time Shahrukh ran a restaurant in Dariya Ganj in New Delhi, India. Shah Rukh Khan joined Barry John's theatre group (TAG) in New Delhi and learned acting from him.

His parents died before he entered movies. Shahrukh considers it a big regret that they couldn't see what their son was to become.His Father Meer Mohammed Taj Khan died of Cancer in 1981 and his Mother Lateef Fatima Khan died of complications in Diabetes in 1991.

He married Gauri Khan on 25 October 1991. They have two children, son Aryan Khan (b. 1997) and daughter Suhana (b. 2000).