The First Grader

A first-grade teacher, Ms Neely (Age 28) was having
trouble with one of her students

The teacher asked, "Boy what is your problem?"

Boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My
sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I
should be in the third-grade too!"

Ms Neely had enough. She took Boy to the Principal ' s
office. The principal told Ms Neely he would give the boy a
test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back
to the first-grade and behave. She agreed.

Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to
him and he agreed to take the test:

Principal: "What is 3x3?"

Boy: "9"

Principal: "What is 6x6?"

Boy: "36"

And so it went with every question the principal thought
a third-grade should know. The principal looks at Ms Neely and tells
her, "I think the boy can go to the third-grade."

Ms Neely says to the principal, "I have some of my own
questions. Can I ask him?" The principal and Boy both agree.

Ms Neely asks: "What does a cow have four of that I
have only two of?

Boy, after a moment: "Legs"!

Ms Neely: "What is in your pants that you have but I do
not have?"

Boy: "Pockets"!

Ms Neely: "What starts with a C and ends with a T, is
hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?"

Boy: Coconut

Ms Neely: " What goes in hard and pink then comes out
soft and sticky?" The Principal ' s eyes open really wide and before he
could stop the answer, Boy quickly answered..

Boy: Bubblegum

Ms Neely: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does
sitting down and a dog does on three legs?" The Principal ' s eyes again open really wide and before he could stop the answer...

Boy: Shake hands

Ms Neely: "Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of
questions, okay?"

Boy: "Yep"

Ms Neely: "You stick Your poles inside me. You tie me
down to get me up.. I get wet before you do."

Boy: "Tent"

Ms Neely: "A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you ' re bored. The best man always has me first."



The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Vodka on the sly.

Boy: "Wedding Ring"

Ms Neely: "I come in many sizes. When I ' m not well, I
drip. When you blow me, you feel good."

Boy: "Nose"

Ms Neely: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver."

Boy: "Arrow"

Ms Neely: "What word starts with a ' F ' and ends in ' K '
that means lot of heat and excitement?"

Boy: "Firetruck"

Ms Neely: "What word starts with a ' F ' and ends in ' K '
& if u don ' t get it u have to use your hand"

Boy: "Fork"

Ms Neely: "What is it that all men have. It ' s longer
for some men than on others. The nuns don't need it. The pope doesn't
use his and a man gives it to his wife after they ' re married?"

Boy: "SURNAME"

Ms Neely: "What part of the man has no bone but has
muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making
love?"

Boy: "HEART"

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher:
"Send this Boy to University, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"

The Battle of Saragarhi

"21 Sikhs" is the incredible story of 21 men of the 36th Sikh Regiment (currently the 4th Sikh Regiment) who gave up their lives in devotion to their duty during the Battle of Saragarhi. This battle, like any others fought by the Sikhs, highlights the heroic action by a small detachment of Sikh soldiers against heavy odds. This encounter took place on 12 September 1897 in the Tirah region of North-West Frontier Province (now in Pakistan, which then formed part of British India). In keeping with the tradition of the Sikh Army, they fought to the death rather than surrender.


The contingent of the twenty-one Sikhs from the 36th Sikhs was led by Havildar Ishar Singh. They all chose to fight to the death. Sikh military personnel and Sikh civilians commemorate the battle every year on 12 September, as Saragarhi Day.

The Battle at Saragarhi is one of eight stories of collective bravery published by UNESCO (United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization). It has been mentioned as one of the five most significant events of its kind in the world which includes the Battle of Thermopylae associated with the heroic stand of a small Greek force against the mighty Persian Army of Xerxes I in 480 B.C.

The British colonial rulers had constructed a series of forts to control the NWFP (North West Frontier Province - today a state in Pakistan) and to provide security to troops against marauding tribesmen and their lashkars (large body of troops). Most of these forts had initially been built by Maharaja Ranjit Singh as part of the consolidation of the Sikh empire in Punjab and the British added some more. The British had only partially succeeded in gaining control over this region, consequently, skirmishes and sometimes serious fights with the tribals were a frequent occurrence. However, the NWFP was a good training ground for the Indian Army to hone its skills and techniques.

Two such forts on the Samana ridge of the Hindukush & Sulaiman ranges that is Fort Lockhart and Fort Gulistan were a few miles apart. Since these forts were not inter-visible, a signalling relay post called Saragarhi was located mid-way on a bluff to provide heliographic (A heliograph is a simple device for sending Morse code using a mirror catching the sunlight) communications between them. This post or picket had been fortified to provide safety and protection to the signalling detachment. In 1897 there was a general uprising in the NWFP engineered by Afghans as part of their policy, which came to be known as the 'prickly heat policy' to direct the wrath of the tribals against the British. In this uprising, Mullahs (Muslim religious leaders) played a prominent role. It was the duty of the 36th Sikh to occupy Gulistan and Lockhart forts. On 3rd and 9th September 1897, Orakazai and Afridi lashkars attacked Fort Gulistan. On both occasion the attacks were beaten back. A relief column was sent from the fort to assist in beating back these attacks.

The relief column from Lockhart on the return trip reinforced the signalling detachment at Saragarhi making its strength to 1 NCO (Non-Commissioned Officer) and 20 ORs (Other Ranks). In a renewed effort, on 12 September 1897, hordes of tribesmen laid siege to Fort Lockhart and Saragarhi, with the aim of overrunning the latter and at the same time preventing any help from the former. The Commanding Officer of 36th Sikh, Lt. Col. Haughton, was at Fort Lockhart and was in communication with the Saragarhi post through helicograph. The defenders of Saragarhi under the indomitable and inspiring leadership of their detachment commander, Havildar Ishar Singh, resolved to defend their post in the best tradition of their race and regiment. They were not there to hand over the post to the enemy and seek safety elsewhere. Havildar Singh and his men knew well that the post would fall, because a handful of men in that make-shift fort of stones & mud walls with a wooden door could not stand the onslaught of thousands of tribesmen. These plucky men knew that they will go down but they had resolved to do so fighting to the last.
From Fort Lockhart, troops and the Commanding Officer could count at least 14 standards and that gave an idea of the number of tribes and their massed strength against the Saragarhi relay post (estimated at between 10,000 to 12,000 tribals). From early morning the tribals started battering the fort. The Sikhs fought back valiantly. Charge after charge was repulsed by the men of the 36th Sikh. The tribal leaders started to make tempting promises so that the Sikhs would surrender. But Havildar Singh and his men ignored them. For quite some time, the troops held their own against the determined and repeated attacks by the wild and ferocious hordes. A few attempts were made to send a relief column from Fort Lockhart but these were foiled by the tribals.

At Saragarhi, the enemy made two determined attempts to rush the gate of the post and on both occasions the defenders repulsed the assault. While the enemy suffered heavy casualties, the ranks of the defenders too kept dwindling as the fire from the attackers took its toll and their ammunition stocks were depleting. Unmindful of his safety, Sepoy Gurmukh Singh kept signalling a minute-to-minute account of the battle from the signal tower in the post to Battalion HQs. The battle lasted the better part of the day. When repeated attacks failed, the enemy set fire to the surrounding bushes & shrubs and two of the tribesmen under cover of smoke, managed to close in with the post's boundary wall in an area blind to the defender's observation and rifle fire from the post holes. They succeeded in making a breach in the wall. This development could be seen from Fort Lockhart and was flashed to the post.
A few men from those defending the approaches to the gate were dispatched to deal with the breach in the wall. This diversion by the enemy and the defenders' reaction resulted in weakening of the fire covering the gate. The enemy now rushed the gate as well as the breach. Thereafter, one of the fiercest hand-to-hand fights followed. One of the Havildar Singh's men, who was seriously wounded and was profusely bleeding, had taken charge of the guardroom. He shot four of the enemy as they tried to approach his charge. All this time, Sepoy Gurmukh Singh continued flashing the details of the action at the post. Beside this the Commanding Officer of 36th Sikh and others at Lockhart Fort also saw his unique saga of heroism and valour unfold at Saragarhi. The battle had come too close for Sepoy Gurmukh Singh's comfort, so he asked Battalion HQs for permission to shut down the heliograph and take up his rifle. Permission was flashed back. He dismounted his heliograph equipment, packed it in a leather bag, fixed bayonet on his rifle and joined the fight. From this vantage point in the tower he wrought havoc on the intruders in the post. He died fighting, but took 20 of the enemy with him.

The tribals set fire to the post, while the brave garrison lay dead or dying with their ammunition exhausted. Next morning the relief column reached the post and the tell tale marks of the epic fight were there for all to see. The tribals later admitted to figure of 180 dead and many more wounded. This episode when narrated in the British Parliament, drew from the members a standing ovation in the memory of the defenders of Saragarhi. The story of the heroic deeds of these men was also placed before Queen Victoria. The account was received all over the world with awe and admiration. All the 21 valiant men of this epic battle were awarded the Indian Order of Merit Class III (posthumously) which at the time was one of the highest gallantry awards given to Indian troops and is considered equivalent to the present-day Vir Chakra. All dependants of the Saragarhi heroes were awarded 50 acres of land and 500 Rupees. Never before or since has a body of troops - that is, all of them won gallantry awards in a single action. It is indeed a singularly unique action in the annals of Indian military history.

The names of the 21 recipients of the gallantry award are:

1. Havildar Ishar Singh (regimental number 165[10])
2. Naik Lal Singh (332)
3. Lance Naik Chanda Singh (546)
4. Sepoy Sundar Singh (1321)
5. Sepoy Ram Singh (287)
6. Sepoy Uttar Singh (492)
7. Sepoy Sahib Singh (182)
8. Sepoy Hira Singh (359)
9. Sepoy Daya Singh (687)
10. Sepoy Jivan Singh (760)
11. Sepoy Bhola Singh (791)
12. Sepoy Narayan Singh (834)
13. Sepoy Gurmukh Singh (814)
14. Sepoy Jivan Singh (871)
15. Sepoy Gurmukh Singh (1733)
16. Sepoy Ram Singh (163)
17. Sepoy Bhagwan Singh (1257)
18. Sepoy Bhagwan Singh (1265)
19. Sepoy Buta Singh (1556)
20. Sepoy Jivan Singh (1651)
21. Sepoy Nand Singh (1221)

Miss USA Rima Fakih Pole dancing Pictures and Video Controversy

The world goes gaga over a Lebanese-born first ever Muslim to wear the Miss USA crown. There is a slap in the face of conservatism. But is it really so! Seems the liberal west has its own moral guidelines as to how much fun a woman can have.

Yes you can walk the ramp in a bikini but you can not pole dance fully clothed.For the ignorant lot out there pole does not refer to Polish nationals ( miss USA is allowed to dance with Poles but not pole dancing).

Rima Fakih, 24 seems to have landed in trouble after news surfaced of her winning a pole dancing contest at a strip club in Detroit in 2007. They can take her crown away for this. Although she would be allowed to keep the pole and sex toys she won in the competition.

Fakih was photographed sliding up and down a stripper’s pole in a blue tank top, hot pants and high heels. Other photographs from the competition showed her wearing a bra stuffed with dollar bills

The photos were posted on the website of a Detroit-based radio show following her triumph at the beauty pageant Sunday in Las Vegas. I wonder why the sleazy radio shows are not banned for throwing up muck.

The radio show’s producers claim they have been contacted by the organisers of the Miss Universe competition requesting additional information regarding Miss Fakih’s involvement. I am sure they want to get their hands on the nude pictures of Miss USA for personal viewing.

It is not known if organisers of Miss USA were aware of Miss Fakih winning the ‘Stripper 101′ contest three years ago at a women-only striptease class at the Coliseum Gentleman’s Club. She is believed to have won a variety of prizes, including adult toys and a stripper’s pole.

Her winning the contest and the crown is a shakes the booties of both Muslims and middle class Americans. Americans must be wondering whats next; and rightly so. First son of a black Kenyan becomes US president and now a Lebanese Muslim wins the Miss USA title...

Last year’s winner Carrie Prejean was stripped off her title after it emerged she had made a sex tape. I hope they do not do the same to Miss USA Rima Fakih for dancing with a pole and winning all those sex toys. Maybe they should take away her pole as punishment for having fun or better still bomb the poles. (With my due apologies to the Poles for the pun but would the Americans know the difference!)

This Happens only in India

This Happens only in India

These pictures go a long way in showing why India is the second fastest growing economy in the world. Things which would be unimaginable anywhere else are routine matter here. How we deal with this is an amazing aspect of being Indian.

Who is Connected to who!!! Where is the fault in this connection.