How to make a Woman happy !

It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6.. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a phsiotherapist
15. a gynaecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24.. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes





HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY:

Hmmm... I know what you are thinking. Yes a BJ will do :)

Who Was Jesus !

Three Proofs of Jesus ...

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS JEWISH:
1. He went into his father’s business
2. He lived at home until the age of 33
3. He was sure his mother was a virgin, and his mother was sure he was God

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS IRISH:
1. He never got married
2. He never held a steady job
3. His last request was a drink

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS PUERTO RICAN:
1.His first name was Jesus
2.He was always in trouble with the law
3.His mother did not know who his father was

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS ITALIAN:
1. He talked with his hands
2. He had wine with every meal
3. He worked in the building trades

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS BLACK:
1. He called everybody brother
2. He had no permanent address
3. Nobody would hire him

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS CALIFORNIAN:
1. He never cut his hair
2. He walked around barefoot
3. He invented a new religion

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS A REDNECK:
1. He was always talking to sleazy women
2. He was always hanging around his buddies telling fish stories
3. Everybody crucified him

Mandira Bedi Maxims and Fashion Show pictures

Of course you remember Mandira Bedi the spaghetti strapped cricket hostess on TV. Viewers thought she looked hot in those saris. Many non cricket fans were there to watch Mandira Bedi host the show. The lady has moved on from those spaghetti strap days to much more daring picture shoots and skin show.

Many wonder if she really needed to do this as her image as a classy dame was well established. Infact she herself is reporeted to have said that she is not very sure if she should have done the Maxim's cover shoot. Personally I thought Madira Bedi's Maixm pictures were brealy all right. Nothing much to write home about. Yes, she looked good and hot but it was pretty tasteful.

That was untill her recent disaster at the Kolkata Fashion week. The usually well turned out Mandira Bedi stepped out draped in a black embroidered zari Satya Paul sari and a low-cut (and when we say low-cut we mean real low-cut) blouse. The blouse was ill fitted with her bust literaly falling out. Most people present thought that Mandira Bedi was not the right choice to model the sari.

We are wondering why she has to go on wearing less and less clothes (not that we mind) ? Is Mandira really so desperate for work that she has to show it all for work?

Sheetal Mafatlal Arrested, Jailed

Sheetal Mafatlal, a socialite and president of Mafatlal Luxury(Ghar ki Dukan) was arrested on Monday for carrying undisclosed jewelery and diamonds worth several lakhs of rupees. Mafatla has been sent to judicial custody till June 12.

Sheetal Mafatlal was detained on Sunday when she landed at the Chhatrapati Shivaji International airport. The Customs officials searched the socialite at the airport on specific information and recovered undisclosed jewellery estimated to be between Rs 53 lakh and one crore from her bag.(This will embarrass Sheetal Mafatlal,because 1 crore is too less in the circles she moves.)

Exact value of the recovered ornaments is yet to be ascertained.(this is ray of hope for Sheetal, She should claim it to be worth 10 crore to save face..errr but that could sent her to jail for a long time. What a paradox!)

Mafatlal, who arrived in a British Airways flight was detained for declaring the jewelry worth Rs 1 cr. as mere Rs 30 lakhs.(are you sure it was not the other way around?)
Meanwhile, Mafatlal’s lawyer has said that that the arrest has been done at the instance of some "disgruntled opponent"(does this mean the jewellery charge was fabricated by the customs?) of Atulya, her husband and scion of Mafatlal industries. “Sheetal was arrested on Saturday night when she was returning from London after the police was tipped by some disgruntled opponent(might as well have blames it on Pakistan and ISI, two birds with one stone) of the Mafatlal family and industry,” Lawyer claimed outside the Esplenade court in Mumbai where Sheetal will be produced.

Sheetal had 51 items in her possession including bangles, chains and rings and the most valuable jewelery was worth Rs 2.5 lakh, he said adding that he would file a bail application. “The jewelery was given to her by her father-in-law and was used ones. According to a Supreme Court ruling, if the value of the gold is less than Rs one crore and the duty is less than Rs 30 lakh then the offence is bailable,” he said. (lawyer ki to ban gayi yaro. 10 lakh fees to hogi hi)

All we can do is pray that the mosquitos don't faint after biting her in jail and prisoners do not choke on her perfume odour.

As for Sheetal Mafatlal, one lucky dame, now she will regale people at those Page 3 parties with her jail escapade. What an adventure man.